Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize