Soap is not a condiment
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
