I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
