Do you still have your period?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
