you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
