I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
