i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
