Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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