Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Fuck appropriateness.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
