I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
where are my eyebrows?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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