I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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