note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
