I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
