I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
