and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
