I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
