saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
ok first of all what the fuck
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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