All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
