Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
