I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
