Little spoons don't ask big questions
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
