Me too!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
