i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
