How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize