I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
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