his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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