I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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