dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
