Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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