Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
