your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize