In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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