that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Randomize
