New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
