He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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