So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
