Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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