I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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