I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
