I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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