He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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