then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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