We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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