I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Mom said you looked used
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
