dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
This house was built for laser tag.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
