I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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