It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Randomize