dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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