Will you blow on my dice?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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