I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I could fuck to npr.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
