Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
did you just send me my own nude
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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