somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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