Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
