Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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