My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The police scanner is talking about you again....
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
