I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
