I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
