I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
