My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
