Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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