once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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