I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
