he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Did I show you my penis last night?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
