I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
